Why I can't pee straight

Women think it's soo easy to pee straight. Their failure to understand pissing dynamics is nothing but a failure of the imagination.

Let's assume, for a second, that we were equipped with a perfectly formed, unobstructed tube through which to pee. We would still have to mitigate the quick rise and subsequent drop in pressure to hit the bowl every time. Sometimes the bladder pushes harder at its apex, sometimes softer, either way, the urine stream naturally follows a varying path with respect to the amount of bladder pressure applied.

We, of course, learn the tricks of the trade. We learn that a good old fashioned foreskin peel-back will ensure a straighter pee. I even sometimes take the time to delicately spread the tiny penis lips in order to clear any potential roadblocks. But even still, sometimes the stream just wants to go left. Or right. Or if you're R. Kelly, onto the backs of under-aged fans.

Point is, pissin ain't easy. But I'll be damned if I'll give up and sit down to do it.