Facebook. Really?

I log into Facebook every other week I'd say. I've never really gotten into the whole thing. The tipping point with myspace was the last time a female friend of mine wondered aloud why she wasn't in my top five. Fuck the top five and fuck myspace.com for trying to force me to rank people in order of how much I like them. Kinda ironic that I like people less when they request top placement. I replaced my top five with black sitcom characters from the eighties and early nineties and have enjoyed peace ever since. But this facebook thing. I dunno. I just logged in to find that:

- "Gertrude Weiss and James Jeffrey are now friends." Hey, Gertrude has a friend with a stupider name than hers! Swell!

- "Megan has given an Oreo to Julia using SuperPoke!" You don't fuckin say?? Honey, put down the baby and come here a sec!

- Rachel would like me to join "Fluff friends, where you can adopt a cute pet on your Facebook profile!" Sounds like a great way to come out of the closet, thanks!

- Amy wants to "know the color spectrum of your personality! Answer 10 fun questions to find out instantly your Personality Color Spectrum(TM) and show your own unique Personality Color Spectrum(TM) to Amy and all your friends." Am I the only employed person on Facebook?

I realize that I can probably turn most of this stuff off and make my page my own. But you'll understand if my initial impression of Facebook makes me want to hunt down and kill whatever marketing "genius" decided to make the internet accessible to women. It's as if the internet went to Japan in early 2006 and came back with a new manga haircut and a purse full of hello-kitty stickers. But it's still trying to act like one of the guys like "What dude? If you're not down with hello kitty just ignore it. What's your deal lately?"

So, um, anyways yeah. Maybe I'm just cranky. Somebody send me a Hug(TM) quick!