Friday, December 15, 2006

Attack of the loggionisti

Opera crowd gets rowdy [article via news.bbc.co.uk]
"The 'loggionisti' - who claim to know every note of every opera by heart - are notorious for their rowdy behaviour when they consider a performance to be below standard."

The prequel:

Loggionisti 1: Lives at home with mother. Rides a Vespa and chain smokes. Steals glances at himself in the cafe shop mirror while he sips espresso and complains about American fascism to his best friend Ricardo. Ricardo called him out on his 'naive bullshit' on the night in question...

Loggionisti 2: Was ridiculed as a child because of his harelip. Was kept at home throughout his childhood due to a "heart condition" that his mom was convinced he had. Has never had a girlfriend because women are too stupid and filthy to recognize his genius. Was called a 'faggot' by his disappointed father on the night in question...

Loggionisti 3: Younger sibling of a soccer hooligan. Tried to be a soccer hooligan last year, but his slight frame and weak stomach prevented him from being effective. Was fingered by his teenaged babysitter when he was eight. Yells because only yelling prevents him from crying during the final aria, mourning his broken youth. Had a rectal exam on the night in question...