Friday, February 22, 2008

All about poop

Who's bored? I'm not bored. Hey, by the way, here are five interesting facts about poop. Including the fact that if you have a dog that eats its own shit you should put vinegar or hot sauce on it to discourage the behavior. Of course, if you have a dog that identifies itself as ethnically black the hot sauce will only serve to encourage the habit. Mayonnaise would probably be better. The whole thing strikes me as ridiculous anyway because why would an animal that eats its own shit be particular about the condiments that go along with it? It's not Chicken McNuggets with a choice of bbq or honey mustard. It's shit which (total guess here) tastes unmistakably like shit no matter what you dip it in. Also, if you care enough about your dog to carry a bottle of Crystal along with you and lovingly sprinkle it on each individual turd in the middle of the fucking sidewalk, why not just pick the shit up in the first place? Have I mentioned how much I hate the average dog owner? Keep it on a leash, pick up after it, and quit acting like it's a person. Oh, and by the way, it just ate that turd over there before it started licking you in the mouth so do excuse me while I vomit quietly. Oh, great, it's eating the vomit now.